I work very hard and am attending college to obtain my degree in the Human Service field. Writing makes me feel alive and gives me the opportunity to touch those whom I would not be able to otherwise. Last but not least, I have been blessed with two amazing daughters who love me completely and support my dreams. Feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or feedback.
If you've ever watched television, you may have come across the show Fear Factor. A series of contestants go on a sort of game show to complete for a grand prize. They go through a series of fearful events, such as eating bugs, to having snakes poured on them inside of a big glass tank. Although I'm not going to submit my name for such an event, it was quite entertaining a times.
I was pondering recently. When it comes to parenting, it appears that most are using the Fear Factor approach. Since the dawn of divorce, parents have been walking on eggshells to ensure Suzie or Bobby not suffer. Competition amongst mom or dad has grown into an all out frenzy. Two birthday parties, graduation ceremonies, etc, children are now doubling in gifts and events to suffice. Mom feels she must do as much as dad, and visa versa, in order for kiddo to love her just as much.
Walking around, you will witness young children using iPhones, iPads, Adroid devices and such. We continue to give, give, and give even more, to ensure tears are not shed. It has become a vicious circle to which at times, there is no escape.
We now see a generation of children who aren't being taught the value of working for a buck. Many times I'm seeing mom or dad plead with a toddler or offer them gifts or food if they would just behave. Temper tantrums, blatant disrespect and outbursts as parents grapple with different ways to wrestle their youngens back in.
Although I am no longer indebted to discipline and such, I have a few ideas on how to get back on track.
I admit wholeheartedly that there were times when I was tested. Never in a physical way, yet verbally, wow, let's just say it wasn't peaches and cream. When my youngest was in her mid teens, she was using language I found disrespectful. I didn't mind cursing as long as it wasn't "at me". When it began "towards me" I decided to take action. I took 5 empty boxes in her room and said, "Everything in this room was purchased by me, not you. Therefore, it's mine. Pack up everything you love. This means everything except you clothing, shoes, school books, etc." When she was finished, her room looked like a jail cell. I then stated, "You will now earn back every single item in this box by respecting me, doing chores, etc." Needless to say, she was back on track within a short time and I did end up giving her back her items sooner than later.
A few other rules in our house were as follows; chores will be done on a daily basis. One would do the kitchen, including dishes. The other would do the living room and laundry. They both helped with yard work, regarding mowing and shoveling. You are to attend school and complete your work. Respect yourself, your family and your home.
It was because of our rules that our home ran in a fairly peaceful manner. Friends stopped by on weekends. The rule with friends was as follows: I trust you. No sex, drugs, drinking, etc. Don't bother the neighbors and respect my home. If you give me a reason to doubt you, this will cease.
Although I am completely done raising children, I am happy to say that my rules allowed us a very peaceful home. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I wasn't a perfect parent but I wouldn't change one moment.
After all, this is just part of my amazing auto-biography.